Jenks Hypnosis and Training Center, LLC

805 N. Fir, Jenks, OK 74037    (918) 298-6884
Located in Jenks, America, near the heart of south Tulsa

The Importance of the Positive

Remember that childhood ditty? "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words can never hurt me." We usually said it right after someone hurt us with words. Though we'd really like to think words can't hurt us, the truth is the spoken word is incredibly powerful - especially negative words! Think about it. The negative comments stick with us while positive comments seem to go unnoticed. Why is that?

Well, let's go back to the beginning. When we are born, we have only basic programming. We know how to cry, sleep, eat and fill the diaper. But we don't have any real concept of who or what we are, what is expected of us or how we should act. That is learned as we grow. The first six years of our lives is spent absorbing information and programming in order to create who we are.

Until about the age of six every thing we hear, everything adults tell us goes into the programming pot as absolute gospel truth. That is why wee ones believe in Santa and flying reindeer, why the tooth fairy and giants and elves exist. About the age of six, children begin to use their critical factor. Their programming is in place and they begin to judge themselves and the world against that programming. So - A child who grows up with "You are fat, dumb and ugly!" learns they are fat, dumb and ugly. No matter how smart they are, they always feel dumb. No matter how beautiful they are, they always feel ugly. No matter how thin they are, they know they are fat. And that programming stays with us until we decide to change it.

And just how do we do that? Sometimes it isn't easy. Almost all of my clients have past programming they are seeking to change. One of them grew up in Hell's Kitchen - a rough and tumble "suburb" of New York City. A dead body on the street wasn't an every day occurrence, but it wasn't unusual either. The abusive nature of his grandmother and the harshness of life on the street taught him he was dumb, stupid and worthless. He would never mount to anything. Now that he is a Pre Med student, it is critical to erase all of those old tapes and install new, more truthful programming. It is an uphill battle as he struggles to believe in his own worth, value and intelligence.

From infancy we are taught to negate ourselves. We are taught that others are more valuable, more intelligent, more deserving than we are. Can you remember hearing your parents tell you, "Don't toot your own horn. It's rude." (What you did is insignificant.) Perhaps you were told, "Don't stand in the limelight! That belongs to someone who is truly worthy." (You don't deserve to take the credit.) O maybe it was "Children should be seen and not heard." (You don't have anything of value to say.)

No wonder we tend to think so little of ourselves. It is what we were told all of our formative lives. We still hear it and feel it. Every time we feel ignored, the old tape plays. (You're insignificant.) Every time we fail to speak up for fear of being incorrect, we play the old tape. (You don't have anything of value to say.) Every time we let corporate bullies steal our ideas and our hard work, we play the old tapes. (You don't deserve to have the credit.) We admire people who can do those things we can't but we don't know exactly how to get to that position of confidence - and we aren't sure we deserve to.

Remember that line in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere asked Julia Roberts why she believed all the bad stuff? Her reply was, "The bad stuff is just easier to believe."

And that is where we're stuck. The bad stuff is just easier to believe - BECAUSE IT IS STRONGER THAN THE GOOD STUFF! It takes six - SIX - positive affirmations to erase a single negative statement. Now - think. How many times a day do your old tapes play? Well - STOP IT!!! Each and every time you find yourself repeating or hearing an old negative tape, turn the statement around. Make it positive and say it at least, at least, six times. Write an affirmation in red on your bathroom mirror. (Use magic marker - so much better than lipstick!) Every time you see it, read it. Say it aloud. Concentrate on it. And - Believe it! Make it a habit to praise yourself every day. Start small work up to the big stuff. "I fixed a good dinner tonight." (I am worthy and worthy to be praised.) Don't just think it. Say it out loud. Ignore any raised eyebrow, snort or comment that doesn't support that what you did was worthy. What you think about yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks. Be good to yourself. Believe in yourself. Be patient, kind and tolerant of yourself. Praise yourself. Affirm yourself positively every day.

Is that going to change the way you feel immediately? Of course not. You didn't get here overnight. You aren't going to change overnight. But keep those affirmations rolling. Make it a habit. You deserve to speak your mind - kindly. You deserve to share your opinion - graciously. You are worthy to be believed in, supported and praised. And if someone else doesn't agree, does it change your right to believe in yourself? Of course not. Each of us is entitled to our beliefs. Each of us is entitled to speak our beliefs. And that most definitely includes YOU!