Jenks Hypnosis and Training Center, LLC

805 N. Fir, Jenks, OK 74037    (918) 298-6884
Located in Jenks, America, near the heart of south Tulsa

Internal Stress

Stress. Hmmmm. There's a can of worms we haven't discussed. What, exactly, is stress? (Depends on who is defining it.) But an even better question is how doI get rid of it all!

Well, now, whoa there Nellie. Back up just a moment. Are you aware that not all stress is bad? Did you know that if you were completely stress free you'd be - well, 6 feet under. Stress is a necessary part of our lives. It is the get up and go that gets us up and going. But you're right. Too much of a good thing isn't good.

Go back to the original question. What is stress? Nothing more than internal pressure. Where does it come from? You! That's right. You are the source of most of your own stress. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt? She made a very profound statement once. No one can make you feel anything unless you give them permission (or something close to that). Brilliant statement. (Wish I'd said it.) But it is true. No one can make you feel guilty unless you accept the guilt. No one can make you feel rushed unless you allow it. No one can make you feel overwhelmed unless you allow yourself to be overwhelmed. This includes yourself!

Ok So if the majority of stress comes from within me, why do I do that to myself?

Good question. And I may just have a partial answer. Take a look at yourself and your life, including your childhood. Do you believe everything you do must be perfect? Do you really know how to say 'No'? Do you believe you should able to do it all and if you can't well, then, there is something wrong with you? If you answer yes to any of these questions you've got big stress inducers.

Now let me ask you something else. When was the last time you truly enjoyed a long hot bath with no child-interference? When was the last time you exercised? (Great stress reducer!) When was the last time you did something just for you without thought of anything else? If your answer is that it's been a long time, then you have little in the way of stress reducers.

Take a look at those folks that seem to float along through life without ruffled feathers. What is the difference? Bear in mind that you are seeing only a small, public part of their lives. You have no idea what goes on in those parts you can't see. Comparing yourself to others is a sure fire way to feel less than what you are. That nasty little beast called self esteem rears its ugly head again. The more stress we feel, the less we seem to get done. The less we get done, the more inadequate we feel and the lower our self esteem goes. The lower that goes, the more stress we feel. (All roads seem to lead back to this one issue doesn't it?) It is a trend that spirals down and down.

There are a few things you can do to break that downward spiral. First - You are not perfect (that is not humanly possible) and you can't do it all! (This isn't humanly possible either and let's fact it, we are human.)

The second is: You are not human and what you do won't be perfect either. Accept that and figure out just how imperfect you will allow yourself to be. This should be a sliding scale. Some things we do well and some things we a lot less than well.

And even those things we do well will sometimes be done less than well. Third - Get organized! Get a wonderful paper brain-a calendar, a day timer whatever serves your purpose best. Write out everything you need to do and when you need to do it day by day, week by week. Schedule how much time each will require then add about 30 minutes to each of them. Life is messy and almost always takes more time than you thought it would. Don't use ink! Not only is life messy, it is a changeable lot. Use pencil.

Fourth - Learn to say NO. Before you take on any new project, responsibility or task look at what you already have scheduled. Can you really do this? Stand in front of your mirror and practice saying 'no'. "I regret that I'm not able to commit to that right now." Practice it until it flows from your mouth naturally and comfortable. Just because you are asked doesn't mean you have to accept. If you were asked to jump off a bridge would you do it? Just because you were asked to? Of course not! But the principle is the same throughout life. You can't do it all. Choose wisely.

Last - Don't forget to take care of yourself. You are a renewable resource but only to a point. While you are scheduling your life, don't forget to schedule in time for yourself. Watch a sunset. Smell the flowers. Sit idle and enjoy a thunder storm. Take a walk. Read a good book. Find things you enjoy and do them! Learn to relax again. Life is precious and way too short.