Jenks Hypnosis and Training Center, LLC

805 N. Fir, Jenks, OK 74037    (918) 298-6884
Located in Jenks, America, near the heart of south Tulsa

Part 3

Here we are for the last round of Destructive Thought Patterns that focus on the negative, or what is perceive as wrong. With these thought patterns, a person with low self esteem will never feel better than worthless and valueless. They start out defeated, with or no little motivation. They have all the joy and pleasure sucked out of their existence. But all is not hopeless - no matter how it feels right now. Action follows thought. Positive actions follow positive thoughts. Small steps. Start by celebrating ALL of your successes! No matter how large or small - CELEBRATE!

10. Blaming. This is the opposite of Personalizing. Blaming takes NONE of the responsibility. Blaming places all the responsibility somewhere else. A teenager fails to mow the lawn and blames the friend who called. A person who can't seem to succeed blames his parents and a crummy childhood. A person late to an important meeting blames the bus, taxi, car, traffic, etc.

Actually, those people and events don't have all that much power over you UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM PERMISSION! Like Catastrophizing, Blaming perpetuates the belief that we are helpless: that we have no control and no power; we are victims, too weak, incapable and powerless to cope with or change events; we have no outside sources to help us.

11. Dwelling on the Negative. This thought pattern ignores what you have and focuses on what you don't have and goes hand in hand with # 7 - Making Feeling Fact. Such thinking (and the acceptance of negative words from others) negates all the good you have previously achieved. Negative words and thoughts are so incredibly powerful that a single negative word can erase months of positive achievements. We are taught from childhood to negate ourselves. To deflect the compliment. Not to stand in the limelight (that belongs to some one who TRUELY deserves it. Not to praise yourself (that is rude!). But if we do not believe in ourselves, why should anyone else?

Sometimes negativity is simply a matter of perspective. So - do you prefer to view the glass half full or half empty?

12. Rejecting Positives. Sometimes we have to really work hard to maintain that low self esteem. So you like this icky feeling? Do you really want to feel this down? When someone says what a great job you did, generally your first reaction is - "oh no, anyone could have done that." Deflecting the compliment - just like you were taught. It may be true anyone could have done it, but YOU are the one who did. Take your praise and enjoy it. (My grandfather used to tell me "Take everything you can as a compliment. God knows you'll get few enough as it is! A little homespun wisdom - but so VERY true.) Every success, no matter how large or how small deserves to be celebrated. Learn to enjoy your moments of achievement.

13. Unfavorable Comparisons. Oh, don't we just love to bandy this one about. This magnifies your negative traits while it magnifies and intensifies the positive traits of everyone else. Guess who comes out with the short end of the stick! There is always someone better than you and always someone worse than you. (If you haven't read it in awhile, do a Google search for "Desiderada".) Someone is always better and someone is always worse than you are. That is the way the Universe works so - why compare? You are on a journey and in the process of becoming; never a finished product. The gift is to accept and like yourself wherever you are in your journey - and know you can change!

Now that we have identified all these negative, destructive thought patterns. Get rid of all the old baggage you carry that demands such negative thinking. Clean your mental house. Redecorate your mind with bright healthy thoughts, and expectations. Reclaim your Personal Power. Reclaim the Control of your life. Reclaim the Right to Make the Choices and Decisions that affect your life. You are the only one who can. Repeat this to yourself - over and over and over: I AM IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING I DO.

I have innate worth and value. I am a Human Being not a Human Doing. My value comes NOT from what I do, but who I am. The greatest gift I can give myself is unconditional love. I deserve all good things. I am worthy to receive all good things.

When you are ready to change your perspective and change your life, the Jenks Hypnosis Center will be here to help you achieve those goals and dreams.